Your Kids Pay the Price
Many people believe that the only way to get a fair deal is to go through court.
Sadly, that just isn't true for many divorcing couples and families.
When parents decide to fight over their children, everyone loses. You can lose your rights to your children (mothers included) — and your children end up as pawns in an emotional game that has no winners. At DKYM2, we believe that a rational mediation can resolve all of these issues. Save your child’s childhood, your assets and your sanity.
For the curious, the following section outlines what you can expect should you decide to contest child custody.
What a custody dispute involves
When false allegations fly, neither party is assumed to be a “fit parent”. It is said “Whoever tells the best lies first, wins” and “whoever gets custody first wins”. But the truth is that no one actually wins because the family will be in court for years to come.
If you do choose to contest custody in Divorce Court, here's what you can expect:
- A 730 Evaluation by a licensed psychologist
- Up to $5,000 per party.
- Document review is not included and is very expensive.
- Multiple evaluations are usually ordered over the years.
- You will put your children through a psychological evaluation. Not good.
- If you cannot afford the 730 Evaluation...
You may be ordered “no contact” with your children in their “best interest” until you can finance the evaluation or you can be ordered into counseling. - Supervised visitation
You can possibly be placed on “supervised visitation” because of false allegations. - A court-appointed supervisor will watch you interact with your children and make sure you don’t say anything inappropriate to them at a cost of $75 to $125 per hour. If therapeutic supervised visitation is ordered, the cost is $150 per hour.
- Supervisors have no specialized training. They are on the court list to be appointed based mainly upon who they know in court.
- The supervisor has an inordinate amount of power including determining how long you need to be supervised.
- You have very little control over the supervisor:
- there is no boss to complain to
- there is no licensing board to file a complaint with
- you cannot sue them
- Required parenting classes
You can be ordered into parenting classes at a cost of $100 to $500. - Required counseling
Both parties and children can be ordered into weekly counseling at a cost of $125-$175 per hour. - A counselor for the mother is appointed. $175 per week
- A counselor for the father is appointed. $175 per week
- A counselor for the children is appointed. $175 per week
- Joint counseling is also ordered. $175 per week
- If your children are ordered to see a child therapist, you are not privileged to have disclosure of what, if anything has been said. The therapist will provide a report that you pay for, which is usually slanted in favor of whom ever has temporary custody of the children. The therapist makes more money the longer they determine the case is conflicted.
- You can call the therapist to the stand to testify at a minimum cost of $1500.
- You cannot sue the therapist as they have the litigation privilege.
- You can sue the therapist on behalf of your children if you catch the therapist lying; however, unless you have custody, you have no legal rights to sue. The therapist will not give you custody if they believe you will sue them. You must wait until your children turn 18 to sue.
- If a Minor’s Counsel is ordered...
- A Minors' Counsel is an attorney hired by the court to represent your children. You are effectively paying an attorney to deprive you of your children. And pay, you will. Counsel fees average $375 per hour. If the state pays the counselor at $60 per hour, you will have to reimburse the state. The state can file liens against you for non-payment. The longer the Counsel sits on a case, the more money they make.
- Minor’s Counsel is supposed to represent the wishes of the children to the court. Usually they do not even speak with the children but make their own judgments after conferring with the other attorneys, psychologists, supervisors and counselors. Remember, everyone is billing you for these conferences.
- They can decide if you can see your children or not based on “allegations” of unacceptable behavior.
- You are not allowed to subpoena their records.
- You are not allowed to cross examine them on the stand.
- You are not allowed to sue them as they have the litigation privilege.
- If domestic violence is alleged...
- You might be ordered into anger management for 52 weeks at a cost of $125 per week.
- You might be ordered into parenting classes.
- A restraining order is usually filed.
- This could affect your freedom to bear arms.
- You may be ordered to “stay away” from your children with “no contact.”
- Your employment may be affected.
- Imputed child support
Child support is calculated at extremely high amounts for the person on supervised visits or with a restraining order because support is based on timeshare of the children The court does not take into account if you can afford all of the court ordered expenses plus court ordered child support.
In the end...
Many years of your life will be wasted looking for justice. You cannot appeal until you have a final judgment—which takes years to obtain.
Don't think this can happen to you? Check the cases at your local family law courthouse to see how many high conflict cases are on the books. You will be surprised.